I want to fall asleep, and never wake up. I’m exhausted, weak, and has had enough. I never thought it was possible to feel like this, but everything around me, makes me frustrated, makes me go into an anxiety. I feel my existence would be better if it was more a memory. I wish I could just get lost in a dream, and disappear forever.
Someone once looked at me and asked if I was crying, I answered yes. Silence began as the person asked why, my reply was, “crying seems to be the one and only thing ill ever be good at.” I’m not sure if crying makes you weak, or if it makes you strong, but combining them seems to be the only solution. If what makes you weak includes crying, then you must be strong enough to wipe away the tears of misery, and find a way to get over it in the end. What good is living life, if all your going to see is the blur from the tears forming to drip down your face?
I don’t understand why I try so hard, when I fail to succeed repeatedly anyways. I feel like I’m lost in a world of my own, the opposite of wonderland, more than less lonely land. I feel I’m losing everyone I ever had. Instead of moving on, and forgetting, time is staying still, and I’m not moving at all. I feel I’m the same I ever was, I don’t want to start fooling myself, and become something I’m not. Curiously I just don’t know how to fix anything, because I know it will only make everything so much worse. I just don’t know anymore.
I wish I was invincible instead of invisible. I wish I could sore through the sky at the break of dawn, I wish impossible things were just a possible as smiling. I’m having an anxiety, and I don’t know what to do, but overall, things are getting scary. I just wish I was important, I wish I mattered. Smiling is most known for possible, but meaning it is the hard part, although it has no real definition, it means a lot.